DailyADD

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eing an ADD mom with an ADD child and an ADHD child, I field this question frequently. One site aptly describes the difference as the Daydreamer vs. the Energizer Bunny.  I prefer to think of the ADD individual as the Absent Minded Professor and the ADHD person as If He Doesn’t Sit Still and Shut His Mouth I’m Going To Have To Throttle Him.

ADD

The ADD individual has the ability to focus well, but typically on one thing at a time. Teachers and parents often dismiss an ADD diagnosis saying, “But Johnny can sit and play a video game/read a book/work on a drawing for hours! He can’t be ADD!” Tunnel vision is a hallmark for the ADD type, as well as a strength. We block out the world in order to do what consumes us. This allows us to do a task well, almost to perfection. It can also frustrate a parent or loved one, as we lose track of  people around us, time, responsibilities, etc.

The traditional classroom poses a problem for an ADD, as holding our attention requires a) interest in the subject, and b) interaction and feedback ability. The ADD mind wanders easily, with visual distractions pulling us from a lecture immediately if it does not interest us.

Avoid verbal lists with the ADD, rather giving one task at a time, or preparing a written list. Enlisting their involvement in the making of the list is better yet. Give this person time to complete tasks, understanding that the spacey, dreamy attitude is normal, as is the difficulty in completing tasks.

ADHD

The ADHD individual is typically intelligent, creative, verbal, outgoing, non-stop. As a parent or spouse you may find yourself saying things like, “Personal space!” (drawing an imaginary bubble in the air around you), or “Put it down, it doesn’t belong to you!” “Sit STILL.” “Please be quiet for just ONE minute?” Almost opposite to the ADD person, an ADHD individual seems to be unable to block out distractions. This person can focus on a task of interest like the ADD can, but not always quietly.

ADHD types seem to have difficulty sitting still for long. Inactive learning in a traditional classroom can be especially frustrating. Not only does the mind wander, the hands and feet want to as well. Give an ADHD individual a specific task, a short term goal, with clear parameters, for success. Verbal lists will only frustrate you both.

Exercise is vital for the ADHD, especially playing team sports. You’ll find the ability to focus increases and the seemingly nervous energy decreases, as well as training the individual to listen and follow instruction. A good sleep regimen also does wonders for the ADHD, as does a scheduled daily routine. Consistency is key.

An example of how I’ve helped myself and my two boys is our lists. They drive my husband crazy at times, but they’re vital to our existence. For my ADD son, I make how-to lists detailing every step of an operation, as he’s prone to miss steps and start a task without listening to all of the directions. A detailed written list keeps him on task, giving him a point of reference.

For my ADHD son, we involve him in the making of the list. On the back of his bedroom door are three pages detailing the steps for cleaning his room. His father spent half an afternoon developing that list with him as they cleaned the room together. Amazingly, our son fleshed out the list even more the next day, adding steps his dad didn’t think to do. Involving him in the list making process motivated him to do well.

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